Darren Andrew Lane

Darren Andrew Lane
Died 3rd July 2006
Aged 34years


It was 1997, I was divorced and disillusioned with two little boys when I met Darren on a blind Date. He was funny and loud and not the type I went for at all. In fact he looked like a lout! But something clicked and five months later we were married and beginning a new life together. Darren started his own business as a heating engineer and a year after we married, our son Alex was born. We really did have a perfect life, Darren was a hard worker, and an amazing Dad. He loved our boys the same and never told a soul that Tom and Jack were his stepsons. ‘these are my lads’ he’d proudly tell folk. He had a real passion for life, and what he couldn’t do in a day wasn’t worth doing! He was a novice inventor and came up with so many wacky plans and ideas, I would just sigh and go along with whatever he wanted to try out next. One thing I can say is, that I never ever said ‘no’ to him-I just couldn’t refuse him, no-one could. He had a way of making things sound so exciting, his enthusiasm was contagious.

His biggest passion was motorbikes, he must have had a new bike every year, and rode it like a madman. Our next child George was born in Feb 2004, and as Darren wiped the tears of joy from his eyes, he swore never to ride his bike on the road again! Instead he would race on a track! I groaned, but knew it was much safer..(even so, I regularly pictured him lying in hospital after some accident) I must have planned his funeral a hundred times, but somehow we got through the summer without any major ‘offs’. Winter came and I relaxed, then spring. I dont recall him getting on his bike, he was far too busy! His workload was heavy and we were selling our house-there was always so much to do, and little time for recreation.
In late May, we had a visit from Darrens Uncle Jeff and his wife and four children from the USA, and had a wonderful family meal. It was the last time we would spend time as a family, with no worries or fears for the future. Two days later, on 2nd June 2005, Darren complained of a headache. It lasted three days, and eventually I drove him to the hospital, he was begging me to help him, he thought he was dying. He was kept in and they could find nothing wrong, but one Dr (who I will forever be grateful to) authorised a CT scan, and the news was devastating. He had a massive tumour in his brain, and those words will stay with me forever. Darren just looked at the Doc and said ‘am I going to die?’ he was rushed to Queens Medical Centre, Nottingham, for emergency surgery and we were later told that his tumour was cancerous and incurable. He was given between 5 and 20years with treatment. Then began the endless hospital visits for radiotherapy and check ups.

Six months later (Christmas 2005) his scan showed no reduction in tumour size, so he began chemotherapy. You wouldn’t have known that there was anything wrong with him! Up till now, he still worked, was fully mobile, and he didn’t want people to treat him differently. He was extremely brave. We made plans for our ‘limited’ future, but didn’t discuss death-he just didn’t want to.
He had his first round of chemo in January, but I was beginning to notice a change in his behaviour. He grew tired and de-motivated. I couldn’t get him out of bed, or to eat. He couldn’t remember the kids names, and began to hallucinate. His next scan in April 2006 showed massive regrowth, and the day after we got the results he was hospitalised.He hated being in hospital, and throughout his entire illness spent just eight days there.
They gave him two weeks to live. I don’t know what he understood by then, everything he uttered was so random, but I knew he wanted to go home, so that’s what we did. He lived for eight weeks and amazed the doctors and nurses and carers that helped me look after him.He took to his bed on one occasion during that time, when he had a small cerebral bleed, but after a few days he was up and about again. He made us laugh and cry, he even managed to tell me he loved me. We went to the seaside and ate fish and chips. He never once complained.

He made it past Fathers day but then became very quiet. A few days later, he had his first seizure and never regained consciousness. On 3rd July 2006, we had lit some candles and his favourite CD was playing. The children spent time with him and said goodbye, it was heartbreaking-but beautiful. His mum Angie and sister Donna, were with me, and together we held him as he took his last breath. I know its what he would have wanted. He was 34 years old and left four sons Tom 15, Jack 13, Alex 8, and George 2.

Many times I have thought how cruel it is that he went like this, and not doing something he loved like racing his bike. But I know that we were given a very precious year together. I can only imagine the pain of having someone unexpectedly ripped from you in an accident, or sudden death. Its early days for me, the memory of his illness will haunt me for sometime, but I hope that soon, I will be able to put that away and remember the happier times we shared as a family.

Love you forever my Darry xx

Kerrie x